Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Five Reasons Curvy Women Make Great Writers

 Disclaimer: Skinny writers, easy on the hate mail and harsh words – remember that you rock yoga pants, will probably live longer, and if you are good looking, you have it all. Peace.

Curvy writers, unite! There are many words to describe us, and sincerely, we don’t like any of them. But let’s embrace our rolls and remember there’s a reason why God and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups made us this way. And celebrate it – with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, of course.
Here are five reasons curvy women make great writers:

1-     Pressure – We understand pressure and can handle tight…deadlines. Only someone who, inside a Macy’s fitting room, has pushed her love handles into a MiracleSuit swimsuit or wears one-size-too-small Spanx to a cousin’s wedding knows what I’m talking about.

2-      Conflict – You want conflict? We’ll give you conflict. To be yourself in Western society and be happy with your figure can be a conflict in itself. Some people don’t understand it. Others envy it. Or sometimes you are completely uncomfortable with your curvy writer status yourself. You try to tip the scale a bit, bargaining with it. Oh! The pain, the guilt, the possibilities. You have conflict in every single inch, and since you have more inches than a skinny writer does, you obviously are packed with more conflict.

3-      Time management – When skinny writers are busy working out, cycling, running, swimming and all that nonsense, we can use that time to write.

4-Creativity – We are great at creating excuses. Some sample expressions we know and love: “This dress makes my ass look like a planet,” “It’s the Pill,” “It’s my PCOS medicine,” “I’m PMSing,” “I’m pregnant,” “I just had a terrible breakup/horrible argument with my boss,” “I had bag of chips within my reach.” We always look for a great way to explain why we are the way we are.

5-      Inner (and outer) strength – If there were a reality show where we had to fight skinny writers for food or dominance, we could easily bring them down. In fact, we still can *evil grin*  – reality show or not!

There you go! Let’s celebrate ourselves, and we’ll chat again about that reality show.
Until next time, take care! ;)


  1. So you can actually get into a MiracleSuit swimsuit, Carmen? Kudos! I gave up the last time I tried - powerful thighs, you see. And 'heavy bones'. ;0)xx

    1. I know! They tell you to buy one size larger, because the swimsuit is tight. Helloo, I thought the whole point was I’d finally find something my size?? Then, if you are brave enough and you buy one and go to a pool party, do yourself a favor and don’t eat anything. Or drink. THAT is how they make you look lbs. lighter in 10 seconds. You stop eating. I should start wearing them at home.

  2. Ha! Awesome post, Carmen! I look forward to meeting you in Vegas! (You're coming,right? I saw your name on the list). Since I've been spending time writing, not exercising, I actually just bought myself a lace-up, no-mercy, honest-to-god corset in the name of looking "presentable." (I know--silly) *head desk* :-)

    1. You go, girl! ha! :-) Yes I am going to Vegas, how exciting! I look forward to meeting you too :-)

  3. And for the mature curvy writers.... it's menopause!
    Loved it.. great post, Carmen!