Drafting my Pregnant Heroine

Hi, folks!

Today I'm blogging about the challenges of drafting a pregnant heroine. Please click on http://www.indulgencebooks.com/2013/02/25/drafting-my-pregnant-heroine/ to read the post! Oh, and Happy Monday :) xoxo

A Lunch Date With My Friend and Her iPhone

 

When was the last time you remember sitting down with someone and enjoying a conversation without a ring or a buzz from a cell phone? Is it really that hard, and am I that old fashioned?

I have a friend; let’s call her Gretchen. We meet once a month for a lunch date, and EVERY time it’s the same thing: When she walks my way, she already has her cell phone squeezed between her hand and her ear, and when I say hi, she acknowledges me with a smile, covers the phone with her hand and says she’s “almost done.” A couple of minutes go by, and I alternate between reading the menu for the fourth time and looking at the ceiling.

I start to ask myself why I put myself through this awkward torture every month, but then I remember she’s one of my best friends and she’s always there for me. She might be rude as shit, but she has a good heart and has my back. Maybe I’m being too sensitive to this type of technology that’s become the extension of our fingers. After all, I have an iPhone too and I check my emails more often than not.

So. I clear my throat a couple of times and cling to that positive outlook, and she gets off the phone with a brief explanation. Really, it’s just a formality because I doubt in her mind she’s doing anything wrong. We order our food and start talking. Finally, I relax. But not for long…

Her phone rings again. She glances at her screen and says, “I have to take this. It’s my friend from Germany. She’s divorcing. We’ve been playing phone tag.” Sure. She always has all kinds of stories for talking on the phone in my presence, which by her logic would make me an insensitive cow for complaining. I politely nod and she answers the phone. However, after I sit in front of her without acknowledgement for over TWENTY minutes, I start to get antsy. I already have eaten all the sourdough bread, had my Sprite refilled twice, and made small talk with the waiter. Really, there’s only so much you can say about the weather.

The waiter gives her a couple of dirty looks too, which encourages me to roll my eyes. I wish I had brought my Kindle or something. She finally gets off the phone and tells me her friend’s whole story, which shaves another ten minutes off our lunch. Our dishes come, and we start chewing. Then someone calls her. She glances at the screen and promises she won’t take it. I wonder: Is that really necessary? The person insists and calls yet again, and this time she answers and engages in a brief talk about something quite boring. Perhaps next time I should just call Gretchen from across the table, that might work. Really.

Maybe there should be rules about when we can and can’t use electronic gadgets when we’re with someone. A brief phone call or a couple of texts is fine by me. But to hear the buzzing of text messages throughout a whole conversation…er, not necessary.

We all have jobs and busy lives, and nowadays we can no longer hide from technology. We have to embrace it and make ourselves available. I get that. But shouldn’t we draw the line somewhere?

I’ve heard of restaurants where you have to do leave your phone at the entrance with the hostess before going inside to enjoy lunch technology-free. The hostess will call you if you get an emergency call. Tell me if that doesn’t sound great…or am I too uptight?

 

 

How to Avoid a Disastrous Valentine’s Day

Don't forget to check out what the other authors participating in the hop are giving away! Click here to check out the list of participating authors and follow the hop!

Valentine’s Day is next Thursday.

I know what you’re thinking, right? Who cares? Well, a lot of people—given Valentine’s Day is the second most celebrated holiday in the world besides New Year’s. If you don’t believe me, look on Wikipedia or go to the nearest mall. See what I mean?

Sometimes it’s best to face the beast full on rather than going through great lengths to escape it.

For instance…

If you are married to a guy who doesn’t see the point in Valentine’s Day (especially after marriage!), there are a couple of ways to go around it. What I do is, I use the same strategy I use for special dates, such as anniversaries and my birthday: I start hammering the idea into his head ahead of time. This way, it won’t happen he’ll say something like, “Oh, is it Valentine’s Day? I forgot.” By the way, don’t you love how men conveniently “forget” things?

So, be ruthless. At least once a day, remind him about Valentine’s Day. Print a picture of the dress you want from the Macy’s website, and leave it on the top of the kitchen island. Just in case, draw a red arrow. Have ProFlowers send him the monthly specials by email. Really, do whatever it takes. What to give such a man? Something painfully practical, like a gift certificate to Home Depot or to that music instrument store.

But what if you’ve just started dating someone two months ago and aren’t sure where you stand? You’re meant to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, but it falls on a Thursday and you two usually  meet on Thursdays anyway. What if he prepared this nice surprise and you went there empty handed? Well, simple solution: Buy a gift for him and put it into your bag. Play by ear and wait to see if he has a gift for you. If he does, you’ll open your smart purse and smile inside because you have one for him too—and also because this relationship might go somewhere. If he doesn’t have anything for you and doesn’t even mention Valentine’s Day, he’s a sadist. So unless you’re into BDSM, get out while you can.

What if you’re single? There are a lot of different options here for this one. A) You’re single, fierce, and don’t need these silly dates to remind you you’re better off alone. Whenever you feel like diving into a cookies-and-cream ice cream pint or taking calls from telemarketers just to talk to someone at the end of the day, just think of your best friend’s husband. Really. What was she thinking? She married the most inconsiderate, rude human being on Earth. There are times, in fact, you feel like sending him a thank you note because his existence reminds you every day that you’re better on your own (until the right guy comes along, that is). So anyway, great. You’ve got it all worked out. B) You really try not be angsty or go on a rant every time someone asks you about Valentine’s Day. You don’t have a date this year, and that’s totally fine with you. Friends and family often envy your effortless self-confidence. You know that, just like this silly blog post, Val’s day, too, shall pass. C) You normally wouldn’t care (see B), except the office where you work looks like one of those seasonally decorated stores. There are little hearts everywhere, and even the temp has her share of Hallmark cards at her desk. You know everyone will be getting flowers. And bears. And phone calls. Sadly, you don’t have any sick days left. And you dated two guys from different departments over the past six months. Solution: Send yourself flowers. Tons of them. Have the people of the office guess. And when you open the card, chuckle and say something like, “He’s crazy.” If anyone asks, just say you’re not seeing anyone and this was just someone you met. That’ll kill ‘em. :) 

 Do you have a funny or memorable Valentine’s Day story to share? Please leave a comment to enter the Amazon $25 gift certificate giveaway. I’ll announce the winner on February 16^th.  Meanwhile, let’s keep hoping. :) 

The Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby

Folks,

I have news! The Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby is coming out in August of 2013! In other words, I’m pregnant. Yes! I was going to stretch this out (and say the scripting took about eighteen months ) but really, that was asking too much. I’ve already waited too long to tell everyone, if you consider how I hyperventilated every time someone asked me how I was doing.

Since I found out, I’ve wanted to tell the world. We’ve been trying for so long (quite different than my other pregnancy), and it’s finally happened.

I just shared the news with my four-year-old daughter today and she’s been excited. Poor thing doesn’t know what’s coming, although she ensured me she won’t be jealous. “The baby will be jealous,” she said. Gotta love a kid with self-confidence.

“When you eat, does the food go down and hit the baby’s head?” she asked.

“No.”

“Does it move away when the food comes?”

“Yes.”

She asked a few more questions about the baby’s daily schedule inside my womb, then went to play Hungry Hippos. J

I’ve already warned my best friends and pre-apologized for my behavior in the upcoming months, so I might as well say the same thing to you. If I start babbling on, going on long rants, or if I turn super sappy, please remember it’ll all come to an end by fall. I hope so, anyway.

Last time I was pregnant, I was so emotional I saw some religious women volunteering at a car wash and holding a sign that read “Honk if you love Jesus,” and I started bawling. I don’t mean a contemplative tear rolled down my heated cheeks; I mean I started to cry out of the blue and had to park the car (away from the car wash, since I didn’t really want to scare anyone else besides the homeless guy I’d already alarmed, causing him to run in the other direction) to calm down.

So… yeah, you’ve been warned. Now, let’s celebrate. Virtual apple cider, anyone?