The Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby

Folks,

I have news! The Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby is coming out in August of 2013! In other words, I’m pregnant. Yes! I was going to stretch this out (and say the scripting took about eighteen months ) but really, that was asking too much. I’ve already waited too long to tell everyone, if you consider how I hyperventilated every time someone asked me how I was doing.

Since I found out, I’ve wanted to tell the world. We’ve been trying for so long (quite different than my other pregnancy), and it’s finally happened.

I just shared the news with my four-year-old daughter today and she’s been excited. Poor thing doesn’t know what’s coming, although she ensured me she won’t be jealous. “The baby will be jealous,” she said. Gotta love a kid with self-confidence.

“When you eat, does the food go down and hit the baby’s head?” she asked.

“No.”

“Does it move away when the food comes?”

“Yes.”

She asked a few more questions about the baby’s daily schedule inside my womb, then went to play Hungry Hippos. J

I’ve already warned my best friends and pre-apologized for my behavior in the upcoming months, so I might as well say the same thing to you. If I start babbling on, going on long rants, or if I turn super sappy, please remember it’ll all come to an end by fall. I hope so, anyway.

Last time I was pregnant, I was so emotional I saw some religious women volunteering at a car wash and holding a sign that read “Honk if you love Jesus,” and I started bawling. I don’t mean a contemplative tear rolled down my heated cheeks; I mean I started to cry out of the blue and had to park the car (away from the car wash, since I didn’t really want to scare anyone else besides the homeless guy I’d already alarmed, causing him to run in the other direction) to calm down.

So… yeah, you’ve been warned. Now, let’s celebrate. Virtual apple cider, anyone?