Hi, folks!
Today I'm blogging about the challenges of drafting a pregnant heroine. Please click on http://www.indulgencebooks.com/2013/02/25/drafting-my-pregnant-heroine/ to read the post! Oh, and Happy Monday :) xoxo
Monday, February 25, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
A Lunch Date With My Friend and Her iPhone
I have a friend; let’s call her Gretchen. We meet
once a month for a lunch date, and EVERY time it’s the same thing: When she
walks my way, she already has her cell phone squeezed between her hand and her
ear, and when I say hi, she acknowledges me with a smile, covers the phone with
her hand and says she’s “almost done.” A couple of minutes go by, and I
alternate between reading the menu for the fourth time and looking at the
ceiling.
I start to ask myself why I put myself through this
awkward torture every month, but then I remember she’s one of my best friends
and she’s always there for me. She might be rude as shit, but she has a good
heart and has my back. Maybe I’m being too sensitive to this type of technology
that’s become the extension of our fingers. After all, I have an iPhone too and
I check my emails more often than not.
So. I clear my throat a couple of times and cling to
that positive outlook, and she gets off the phone with a brief explanation.
Really, it’s just a formality because I doubt in her mind she’s doing anything
wrong. We order our food and start talking. Finally, I relax. But not for long…
Her phone rings again. She glances at her screen and
says, “I have to take this. It’s my friend from Germany. She’s divorcing. We’ve
been playing phone tag.” Sure. She always has all kinds of stories for talking
on the phone in my presence, which by her logic would make me an insensitive
cow for complaining. I politely nod and she answers the phone. However, after I
sit in front of her without acknowledgement for over TWENTY minutes, I start to
get antsy. I already have eaten all the sourdough bread, had my Sprite refilled
twice, and made small talk with the waiter. Really, there’s only so much you
can say about the weather.
The waiter gives her a couple of dirty looks too, which
encourages me to roll my eyes. I wish I had brought my Kindle or something. She
finally gets off the phone and tells me her friend’s whole story, which shaves
another ten minutes off our lunch. Our dishes come, and we start chewing. Then
someone calls her. She glances at the screen and promises she won’t take it. I
wonder: Is that really necessary? The person insists and calls yet again, and
this time she answers and engages in a brief talk about something quite boring.
Perhaps next time I should just call Gretchen from across the table, that might
work. Really.
Maybe there should be rules about when we can and
can’t use electronic gadgets when we’re with someone. A brief phone call or a
couple of texts is fine by me. But to hear the buzzing of text messages throughout
a whole conversation…er, not necessary.
We all have jobs and busy lives, and nowadays we can
no longer hide from technology. We have to embrace it and make ourselves
available. I get that. But shouldn’t we draw the line somewhere?
I’ve heard of restaurants where you have to do leave
your phone at the entrance with the hostess before going inside to enjoy lunch
technology-free. The hostess will call you if you get an emergency call. Tell
me if that doesn’t sound great…or am I too uptight?
Friday, February 8, 2013
How to Avoid a Disastrous Valentine’s Day
Don't forget to check out what the other authors participating in the hop are giving away! Click here to check out the list of participating authors and follow the hop!
Valentine’s Day is next Thursday.
I know what you’re thinking, right? Who cares? Well, a lot of people—given
Valentine’s Day is the second most celebrated holiday in the world besides New
Year’s. If you don’t believe me, look on Wikipedia or go to the nearest mall.
See what I mean?
Sometimes it’s best to face the beast full on rather
than going through great lengths to escape it.
For instance…
If
you are married to a guy who doesn’t see the point in Valentine’s
Day (especially after marriage!), there are a couple of ways to go around it.
What I do is, I use the same strategy I use for special dates, such as anniversaries
and my birthday: I start hammering the idea into his head ahead of time. This
way, it won’t happen he’ll say something like, “Oh, is it Valentine’s Day? I
forgot.” By the way, don’t you love how men conveniently “forget” things?
So, be ruthless. At least once a day, remind him
about Valentine’s Day. Print a picture of the dress you want from the Macy’s
website, and leave it on the top of the kitchen island. Just in case, draw a
red arrow. Have ProFlowers send him the monthly specials by email. Really, do
whatever it takes. What to give such a man? Something painfully practical, like
a gift certificate to Home Depot or to that music instrument store.
But
what if you’ve just started dating someone two months ago
and aren’t sure where you stand? You’re meant to go out to dinner on
Valentine’s Day, but it falls on a Thursday and you two usually meet on
Thursdays anyway. What if he prepared this nice surprise and you went there
empty handed? Well, simple solution: Buy a gift for him and put it into your
bag. Play by ear and wait to see if he has a gift for you. If he does, you’ll
open your smart purse and smile inside because you have one for him too—and
also because this relationship might go somewhere. If he doesn’t have anything
for you and doesn’t even mention Valentine’s Day, he’s a sadist. So unless
you’re into BDSM, get out while you can.
What
if you’re single? There are a lot of different options
here for this one. A) You’re single, fierce, and don’t need these
silly dates to remind you you’re better off alone. Whenever you feel like
diving into a cookies-and-cream ice cream pint or taking calls from
telemarketers just to talk to someone at the end of the day, just think of your
best friend’s husband. Really. What was she thinking? She married the most inconsiderate,
rude human being on Earth. There are times, in fact, you feel like sending him
a thank you note because his existence reminds you every day that you’re better
on your own (until the right guy comes along, that is). So anyway, great. You’ve
got it all worked out. B) You really try
not be angsty or go on a rant every time someone asks you about Valentine’s
Day. You don’t have a date this year, and that’s totally fine with you. Friends
and family often envy your effortless self-confidence. You know that, just like
this silly blog post, Val’s day, too, shall pass. C) You normally wouldn’t
care (see B), except the office where you work looks like one of those seasonally
decorated stores. There are little hearts everywhere, and even the temp has
her share of Hallmark cards at her desk. You know everyone will be getting
flowers. And bears. And phone calls. Sadly, you don’t have any sick days left.
And you dated two guys from different departments over the past six months. Solution:
Send yourself flowers. Tons of them. Have the people of the office guess. And
when you open the card, chuckle and say something like, “He’s crazy.” If anyone
asks, just say you’re not seeing anyone and this was just someone you met.
That’ll kill ‘em. :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby
Folks,
I have news! The
Not-So-Secret Falcone Baby is coming out in August of 2013! In other words,
I’m pregnant. Yes! I was going to stretch this out (and say the scripting took
about eighteen months ) but really, that was asking too much. I’ve already
waited too long to tell everyone, if you consider how I hyperventilated every
time someone asked me how I was doing.
Since I found out, I’ve wanted to tell the world. We’ve
been trying for so long (quite different than my other pregnancy), and it’s
finally happened.
I just shared the news with my four-year-old
daughter today and she’s been excited. Poor thing doesn’t know what’s coming,
although she ensured me she won’t be jealous. “The baby will be jealous,” she
said. Gotta love a kid with self-confidence.
“When you eat, does the food go down and hit the
baby’s head?” she asked.
“No.”
“Does it move away when the food comes?”
“Yes.”
She asked a few more questions about the baby’s
daily schedule inside my womb, then went to play Hungry Hippos. J
I’ve already warned my best friends and
pre-apologized for my behavior in the upcoming months, so I might as well say
the same thing to you. If I start babbling on, going on long rants, or if I
turn super sappy, please remember it’ll all come to an end by fall. I hope so,
anyway.
Last time I was pregnant, I was so emotional I saw
some religious women volunteering at a car wash and holding a sign that read
“Honk if you love Jesus,” and I started bawling. I don’t mean a contemplative
tear rolled down my heated cheeks; I mean I started to cry out of the blue and
had to park the car (away from the car wash, since I didn’t really want to
scare anyone else besides the homeless guy I’d already alarmed, causing him to
run in the other direction) to calm down.
So… yeah, you’ve been warned. Now, let’s celebrate.
Virtual apple cider, anyone?
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