Three Things I’ll Miss when I’m no Longer Pregnant

 

Pregnancy has its perks. In many ways, it’s kind of like becoming a temporary senior citizen, except you don’t get a discount at Luby’s.

During my first pregnancy, things didn’t go as expected. At 31 weeks, I delivered my baby girl, who thankfully turned out to be a healthy and beautiful little person. There’s a chance I might deliver early again. So, this time I’m making sure I enjoy every minute. Still, since we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, I’m sharing today, at 30 weeks pregnant, some of the things that I’ll miss the most when I’m no longer pregnant.

1.     The perfect excuse for pretty much anything. Pregnancy is the magic answer to leaving that work party early, skipping the annoying homeowner’s association meeting, and asking for a rush order at the CVS pharmacy. Gained twenty pounds overnight? No worries. You’re pregnant!

2.     The public coddling – Everyone cares. Everyone loves a pregnant woman, and if they don’t, they gather all their acting skills to disguise it. Yes, people ask you things. “How are you feeling?”, “Can I touch your belly?”, or “Do you need anything?” Overnight, you’re a small town celebrity and for no big reason. Wouldn’t it be nice to keep some of it for later?

3.       The free pass to experiment with a wide range of emotions – granted, some of them should remain tucked under whatever layer of commonsense you still have. Think about PMS on acid. Live-in boyfriends and husbands particularly love this symptom of pregnancy because they get to experience in 3-D lifelike quality. In the morning, a serene, blissful sensation engulfs you, and you just want to scream at the world how happy you are that you felt the baby kicking. In the afternoon, charged by a blend of hormones handpicked by the devil himself, there’s rage, frustration, and self-defensiveness. And, of course, there’s attack and tons of it. Family members, friends, colleagues, the abrasive lady at the parking lot – they’re all fair game. At night, exhaustion wins, and with a yawn, you decide you’ll just have to call a couple of people to apologize the next morning. Oh, wait. You don’t have to, at least for a couple more months. J