My first truly meaningful sadness was losing my
father when I was six. I didn’t know much of what went on…just that all of a
sudden, everyone at school was asking me how I was doing and how my mom was
doing. Then my male cousins broke the news the worst way possible, telling me
my dad actually wasn’t returning from his trip to Europe. Ever.
Anyway, don’t reach for the Kleenex just yet, folks.
The worst is over – or I hope it is, as I try to make this about writing. Yet
flashes from my childhood keep coming back.
I found a picture of mine when I was five or six, a
time in between the sweetness of the forbidden candies and the harshness of
real life. I frown at the camera and my hand covers a piece of paper. That’s Exhibit
A I’ve always wanted to be a writer.
Fast-forward well over two decades to the present,
and I’m happy to say I’d be smiling if someone took a picture of me at my work
desk – as long as I looked decent…which means, of course, out of sweatpants and
into a slimming black dress, with my hair blown out and a hint of make up on my
face. J
Wouldn’t that be swell?
The publishing business sometimes brings us candies,
and other times, bad news. For me, it has a lot to do with giving up control.
The minute you write a book, it’s yours. Then, when you share it with the
world, it’s still yours, but you’ve given everyone the right to criticize it –
some will like it, some will hate it, some will love it, and some won’t even
bother to read.
And though I’m obviously barely a freshman at being
published, I’m certainly a senior in dreaming about it. It might have taken
time, but don’t we value things more when they don’t come easily? Well, that’s
why I try to tell myself, anyway. :)
So when you don’t place in contests, or when you receive
rejection letters, one-star reviews or discouragement from the people who
should do the exact contrary – such as your family members, spouses, kids,
cousins, or the old lady next door who keeps asking you to babysit her cat when
she goes out of town – remember: Writing
is not for weenies. It’s a craft, it’s a dream, it’s a business. Work on
your craft, keep on dreaming, and turn it into a profitable business.
Allow yourself to feel bitter, jealous, insecure,
and pissed off for no longer than an hour. (Okay, a day, if you got really bad
news.) Then, bring your chin up and your fingers on the keyboard. And if all else
fails, you can always turn to candy.
Love it. A great reminder that there's always another story to be written - and writing can always make things feel better (so can chocolate cake, but that's hardly your point!)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Christina. That means a lot, specially coming from you. I keep a stash of candy as Plan B. I'm sure my grandma is proud wherever she is ;) lol
DeleteI love this post *so much*. Knowing that other folks, even and especially more-senior writers than me, have the same insecurities and wibbles is so comforting. You've also included a very encouraging message at the end: chin up, fingers on the keyboard. I think I want that on a poster. :)
ReplyDeleteAww thanks, Vivien. I was unsure if I should post it or not, but now am so glad I have :) Yes, let's make a poster! :D
DeleteLove it... although as a complete newbie, I'm desperately hoping it does come easy. Pretty please?? I'll even throw in some sweets :-D
ReplyDeleteThanks! :) I can't wait for your debut :)
DeleteWell said my dear, well said.
ReplyDelete:) *hugs* miss you!
DeleteLovely post, Carmen. We all need candy sometimes. :0)
ReplyDeletex
Thank you, Rachel :)
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