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Valentine’s Day is next Thursday.
I know what you’re thinking, right? Who cares? Well, a lot of people—given
Valentine’s Day is the second most celebrated holiday in the world besides New
Year’s. If you don’t believe me, look on Wikipedia or go to the nearest mall.
See what I mean?
Sometimes it’s best to face the beast full on rather
than going through great lengths to escape it.
For instance…
If
you are married to a guy who doesn’t see the point in Valentine’s
Day (especially after marriage!), there are a couple of ways to go around it.
What I do is, I use the same strategy I use for special dates, such as anniversaries
and my birthday: I start hammering the idea into his head ahead of time. This
way, it won’t happen he’ll say something like, “Oh, is it Valentine’s Day? I
forgot.” By the way, don’t you love how men conveniently “forget” things?
So, be ruthless. At least once a day, remind him
about Valentine’s Day. Print a picture of the dress you want from the Macy’s
website, and leave it on the top of the kitchen island. Just in case, draw a
red arrow. Have ProFlowers send him the monthly specials by email. Really, do
whatever it takes. What to give such a man? Something painfully practical, like
a gift certificate to Home Depot or to that music instrument store.
But
what if you’ve just started dating someone two months ago
and aren’t sure where you stand? You’re meant to go out to dinner on
Valentine’s Day, but it falls on a Thursday and you two usually meet on
Thursdays anyway. What if he prepared this nice surprise and you went there
empty handed? Well, simple solution: Buy a gift for him and put it into your
bag. Play by ear and wait to see if he has a gift for you. If he does, you’ll
open your smart purse and smile inside because you have one for him too—and
also because this relationship might go somewhere. If he doesn’t have anything
for you and doesn’t even mention Valentine’s Day, he’s a sadist. So unless
you’re into BDSM, get out while you can.
What
if you’re single? There are a lot of different options
here for this one. A) You’re single, fierce, and don’t need these
silly dates to remind you you’re better off alone. Whenever you feel like
diving into a cookies-and-cream ice cream pint or taking calls from
telemarketers just to talk to someone at the end of the day, just think of your
best friend’s husband. Really. What was she thinking? She married the most inconsiderate,
rude human being on Earth. There are times, in fact, you feel like sending him
a thank you note because his existence reminds you every day that you’re better
on your own (until the right guy comes along, that is). So anyway, great. You’ve
got it all worked out. B) You really try
not be angsty or go on a rant every time someone asks you about Valentine’s
Day. You don’t have a date this year, and that’s totally fine with you. Friends
and family often envy your effortless self-confidence. You know that, just like
this silly blog post, Val’s day, too, shall pass. C) You normally wouldn’t
care (see B), except the office where you work looks like one of those seasonally
decorated stores. There are little hearts everywhere, and even the temp has
her share of Hallmark cards at her desk. You know everyone will be getting
flowers. And bears. And phone calls. Sadly, you don’t have any sick days left.
And you dated two guys from different departments over the past six months. Solution:
Send yourself flowers. Tons of them. Have the people of the office guess. And
when you open the card, chuckle and say something like, “He’s crazy.” If anyone
asks, just say you’re not seeing anyone and this was just someone you met.
That’ll kill ‘em. :)
